An Honest Journey
Seeing God’s Love Before I Knew Him

Seeing God’s Love Before I Knew Him

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)

“He who covers and forgives an offense, seeks love, but he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends.”

Proverbs 17:9 (AMP)

In my early twenties, I lived in a dark place.

Second-guessing decisions often left me empty and in an endless cycle of people-pleasing. It was extremely difficult to make healthy decisions for myself, as I desired to keep everyone around me happy. The constant anxiety behind my indecisiveness left me in emotional pain and often left a path of destruction.

It was hard to forgive myself when I made poor choices. That pain was often exacerbated when those I cared about held those past regrets over me and our relationship. I was constantly left with the message, “You have to be perfect in my eyes, or I can’t accept or love you.” I hungered for real relationships with people who loved and supported me no matter what.

In the early days of my dating relationship with my husband, I remember being terrified to ask for forgiveness. I cared for him a lot and feared losing the relationship I had with him. When I did need to ask for his forgiveness, I was completely surprised by his response…


6 thoughts on “Seeing God’s Love Before I Knew Him

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    • Author gravatar

      God bless you! Amber this line when your husband answered says so much Truth! “He simply stated that he was hurt, He still loved me, and he wouldn’t bring it up again.”

      That reminds me of my growing up and my religion teaching me that when I would have a sincere genuine confession (a very formal apology) for a sin I committed that once I went to the church alter like the priest advised me and said the prayers to Jesus at the alter and thus my asking our Father in heaven to forgive me, it was done, and not to bring it up again, as God and Jesus would never do that; it’s as we know Jesus taking the punishment for all of our sins on the cross at Calvary, its blotted out and gone!

      That is the way God looks at our sins and once forgiven they are gone. And for your husband to humble himself knowing neither of you are perfect yet, and that all have sinned or not done just right for one another, we “must forgive” each other and allow the growth to occur that comes to us from God and His grace of forgiveness from the Cross at Calvary when His Son Jesus paid that ransom and suffered the full punishment for all sins. Your husband was very humble, loving and wise to do that, for you.

      Mark 11:26 “But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

      Matthew 6:14 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:”

      Colossians 3:13 “bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive.”

      I’ve had to work on this both ways actually being like your husband was and is to forgive others, and then being the one pleading for forgiveness of another. To me forgiving severe trespasses against me is the harder task which is perhaps why God allowed me to be the one offended most harshly or hurt, and not to do so much to others being too kind heartened often; some bad things were done to me but even there I should really have more pity on such a wretch that would attack that way, because such a person is in severe jeopardy of losing his or her soul!

      Being an emotional human I have to watch my anger toward such, because the Devil just loves to start a war between peoples! So even if I’m so offended and done wrong by someone, I must try harder like my dad always said; “to remain cool calm and collected and not seek revenge but leave it up to God Almighty!” We are all learning so much aren’t we!

      I was actually looking at something I had said to you in a previous posting to help finalize my posting today when your commentary here came to my messages cue! Very telling and fitting how God is talking to us even when we don’t expect it or if we do; He does one way or the other!

      Thank you for this very insightful and important posting today!

      God bless you and yours!

      • Author gravatar

        Thank you for your thoughtful response, Lawrence. I appreciate the verses of note. Happy Easter! He has risen!

    • Author gravatar

      God bless you and your family Amber; Happy Easter and He is Risen, our wonderful Savior; now all our Hope is in Him! And you’re welcome anytime; always more than happy to offer what I can, it’s my humble honor and pleasure!
      I’m sure I’ll have more to say and explain moving forward. Amen.

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