The Gift of Unsettled, Messy, Waiting
“I’m not good at this in-between stuff.”
The words came out as I scanned our empty kitchen cabinets. All of its contents lay in bins in our living room, across our kitchen table, and continued to trail on the floor into our basement.
My husband and I decided that Memorial Day weekend was the time we’d finally start re-painting our kitchen cabinets. When the previous owner renovated our home, for some reason they went with a dark brown paint color for the kitchen cabinets (don’t ask me why- my husband is convinced they were trying to use the leftover paint).
Since the day we moved in, we were ready to bring some life to those kitchen cabinets. But like most new homeowners, we soon realized there were other immediate projects that needed to be done. Not to mention, the tasks of daily life along with caring for family pushed that kitchen cabinet project aside for over a decade.
In my mind, this project would be done in the long Memorial Day weekend, or maybe it would extend into the following week, but we’d get it done in a week, right?
Well, no, not even close.
While my husband worked hard taking all those cabinet doors down, sanding, priming, and painting inside, I did the same on all the doors outside. Needless to say, it’s taken close to a month (maybe longer- because we’re still finishing up) to get everything back in order. Not to mention, we decided we’re going to add a backsplash at some point, too. And then there’s always the last-minute touch-ups after everything is completed.
This has become a much bigger project than I expected it to be (maybe my husband knew it would take this long), but I sure didn’t. Maybe I’ve watched too many HGTV home renovation shows, but in my mind, I envisioned we’d have this beautiful kitchen in a week’s time. Clearly, that wasn’t the case for us first timers undertaking this kitchen project.
As this unsettled feeling rose up within me, it was all too familiar. I noticed I felt the same way about my book project in early May. While I reached my goal and finished my initial manuscript of the book, there was still a lot of editing and fine-tuning work to do. The project was unfinished, and it left me feeling uncomfortable. Not only was I plagued with the “What next?” question, but I was also left with doubts about the project in general.
Thoughts like, “I should be done by now”, or “Professional writers get these books pumped out in a year”, or “Maybe I’m not cut out for this” kept running through my head. Once again, I had put this ideal, high expectation in the forefront of my mind about how long this book project would take (if you’re getting the hint I do this a lot, yes, it’s a struggle). And each day I wasn’t completely finished, it became a heavy burden and a reminder of this unmet expectation.
But God never put a timeline on when either of these projects would be done. I did that.
I know I’m not the only one that struggles with the unknown, uncomfortable, waiting-moments of life. In the Book of Genesis, Sarah is a prime example of someone who struggled with waiting. She had an expectation for how soon she would have a son after God promised her an heir, but when it didn’t happen on her timeline, she took matters into her own hands. Instead of taking her insecurities to God, she allowed her fears to push her to believe the lie that God was holding out on her. In allowing fear to control her decision-making, she pushed Abraham, her husband, to sleep with Hagar in order to bear a child. Sarah’s impatience didn’t change God’s promise to her, as she did eventually bear a child to her husband, Abraham, but her lack of trust did come with consequences. She was left with anger and jealousy toward Hagar, and their house was divided (Genesis 16-17).
How many of us are just like Sarah? We wrestle with trusting God and decide to take matters into our own hands. When expectations aren’t met or when things take longer than we anticipate, we believe God isn’t paying attention, or maybe He’s forgotten about us. We may even blame others or put pressure on ourselves to step up and do, say, or act on something that God never called us to do.
Our flesh wants us to rush, move, act, or get that dopamine hit. But God asks us to slow down. He calls us to trust Him in the uncomfortable, unsettled, in-between moments where we are waiting.
Often, when we slow down and seek God in the uncomfortable places of waiting, our eyes are opened. God may want to reveal wounds, sins, or the not-so-pretty areas of our lives that need to be weeded out and turned over to Him before we step out into a new chapter. In rushing, we often miss these opportunities because “we’re too busy” to truly see them.
In rushing, we can also miss the gifts that come with waiting, like building relationships with the people God has placed in our lives during a particular season. Or enjoying the simple beauties of life that we often miss in a rushed lifestyle. There’s growth that happens in the “mundane” areas of life that the world often overlooks or doesn’t appreciate, but God does.
Waiting also calls us to humbly admit, we’re not God, and recognize our utter dependence on Him. We can’t see the full picture, but God can. Instead of putting our trust in our abilities, what we see, and what we know, we’re putting our trust in our all-knowing and loving God.
Our God is patient with us. He cares for us, loves us, and sent Jesus for us, so we know we are not alone in our waiting. And the Holy Spirit is right with us as we wait hopefully. We need Him in every aspect of our lives- no matter how big or small our unsettled in-between moments may be.
While our kitchen is still littered with rags, tools, sample paints, and paint cans, there’s something beautiful about being in the unsettled, middle of a project. Our kids see us still chugging away at this project, but they are also learning how other things take priority over finishing this quickly for the sake of finishing- like spending time as a family, continuing to go to church on Sundays, cooking dinner at home, enjoying the outdoors with friends, and living fully in the gifts God has given us in the middle of the waiting for all this to be done.
Life still happens in the messy, waiting. And God is right there with us in it.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”
-Prov. 3:3-5 NIV
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us”
-Romans 5:3-5 NIV
As I continue this book writing project, I have much to be thankful for on this journey. My initial manuscript was finished in May before my kids were out of school, yay! And June 2026 also marks 10 years of writing on this blog, another yay!
I am thankful for the endurance and perseverance God has given me to continue on this journey, and thank you to my readers for supporting, praying, and encouraging me in this work. May God bless your week!
Speaking of In-Betweens….
Early July marks my 40th birthday! While I’ll be celebrating with my family in July, I had the lovely privilege of “Taking a Hike to My 30s” with some friends in June. It was a great way to mark mid-life, get outside, and appreciate the lovely ladies God has placed in my life during this season. I’m also beyond thankful my husband and kids could participate and make the day extra special.
Thanks for reading, and keep seeking God in your health and relationships!
Photo by Ricardo Viana on Unsplash