Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction & Generational Trauma with Gina Birkemeier

Last year during our family’s spring break vacation, I decided I was finally going to break open a book I had on my “must read” list for far too long. While it wasn’t your typical go-to vacation-read, I was excited to dive into Gina Birkemeier’s book, Generations Deep: Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction and Trauma to Rewrite our Stories Through Faith and Therapy.

Gina’s book examines how unaddressed trauma, emotional wounds and false beliefs are generationally passed down. She goes into detail about how we can break these cycles within our families. What I love about Gina’s book is that she not only gives scientific and Scriptural backing to her work, but she also incorporates her personal story. Gina states, If you are looking for a guide on your journey from familial chaos to peace, clarity, and forgiveness, you need this book. And after reading her book, I couldn’t agree more.

Recently, I had the wonderful opportunity to Zoom call with Gina and learn more about her work and her book. She is a licensed professional counselor, and an award-winning author, and speaker. Holding a master’s degree in psychology and theology, her writing and teaching are rooted in faith and the sciences of psychology, biology, and epigenetics. Gina is a survivor of generational dysfunction and trauma, and she now walks alongside those who are looking for hope and healing in their own journey.

Below is part of our conversation on her work and her book. Read through our conversation until the end for a chance to win a signed copy of Gina’s book and workbook.

---

AJ: Gina, I’m interested to know who you would say your book is geared toward? Is it for anyone that’s willing to delve into their past and look into that a bit more?

GB: Yes, I would say that’s true. It’s for anybody who’s willing to do that deeper, inner work. It’s also for people who want to understand other people who have had trauma. The book has been translated to Spanish, so it’s been used internationally. When someone was pitching this book to people in Zimbabwe, they stated how generational trauma and dysfunction isn’t just an American issue, it’s really a people issue. Any one of us benefits from understanding our stories- even the little nuances that we might not think about. First off, trauma isn’t always what happens to you, oftentimes it’s what didn’t happen. It’s what happened that shouldn’t, and then it’s what didn’t happen that should have. And then there’s also the categories of trauma where we think about these really big things, that are most certainly traumatic, but there’s also the other things that over time compound and give us a trauma affect. We often don’t think about those things. So, that’s been a space where the book has also been helpful. People who are further down the road, like their kids are teenagers or adults, they come to a place of realizing there’s some things in their past that they need to address and heal from. And then what’s been really cool is seeing a younger audience, people in their early 20s who don’t yet have kids, who recognize that their parents passed something on to them, that was passed on from their parents, and they want to give it some names and then understand what to do with it.

AJ: That’s great that a younger generation is really drawn to your book. I think you do really get to that point in life where you’re doing some self-reflection, at least hopefully, and you start to question how you grew up. So that’s awesome to hear that about the younger generation. I know your book is more faith-based, but I’m curious how many have found your book helpful that aren’t necessarily Christian. Or has it been a bridge for people to start looking into Christianity?

GB: I don’t know a ton about that last part in terms of has if it has been a bridge, but I do know that there have been several people who don’t have a Christian faith who have found the book helpful. That includes therapists who have utilized the book in their own work. It’s always interesting to hear people who say, I don’t really have a faith, but then when you get into a conversation with them, it isn’t that they haven’t had a faith in God, it’s that maybe they’ve been very disappointed by God, or they feel God misled them. Or in their childhood God was used a weapon, so they’ve pulled back in how faith may have a role in their life. And there also is this culture within mental health- like everything is either Jesus or nothing, that’s why there’s a whole section in the book about “Jesus and a therapist”. It (counseling) is not counterintuitive or antithetical to what we believe as Christians. Therapy isn’t the enemy, and getting help isn’t the enemy. My hope and goal with writing the book is that it would be gentle…not apologetic about faith, not dumbing-down the faith, but that it would be gentle to those who have been wounded in the name of Christ or in the name of God. And to also recognize that wherever they are, they are a created being that is loved by their Creator. Despite the wounds that they’ve experienced, He does have a healing journey for them that is going to look like faith and a therapist coming together. Not to say that therapy can’t do a great job, but if we want to take it beyond what therapy can do, that’s where that faith-piece comes in.

AJ: Where were you in life when you started to write this book? I know when you started writing, you said you didn’t intend to tell as much of your story, but then that changed as you started writing. I’m assuming you felt the pull of the Holy Spirit to tell more of your story?

GB: Yes, it’s funny because I literally say in the book, that the book you’re holding right now isn’t the book I intended to write. That’s because I thought the book I was writing was going to lean into more of the professional side of my work, and how that aligns with the principles in Scripture, and how those aren’t antithetical to each other, and how we use those together holistically to heal. And I was going to use little anecdotal pieces of my story and my family’s story to get those points across. And that’s probably why the book took longer than I intended to write; it took five years. But the more I wrote, the more I delved into my story; I just kept working, and more of my story kept flowing, and then more. Really, even going back to how people learn best, how Jesus taught, it was always through story. So if my hope was for people to engage their story as they were reading, I needed to use mine, so that people could really see what that looks like and recognize that the book is a safe space for them to engage and do that.

AJ: That’s great. Yes, so after you shared your story, and it’s out and published, did you have people, maybe you were acquainted with or maybe even people you didn’t know, who were changed and impacted by you telling your story?

GB: What’s interesting is that there were people who knew me, like “knew me”, you know, not best friends, but we did life fairly frequently together, but they had no idea. So, I heard that a lot. I had a lot of people say, I had no idea. And there were also a lot of people who would say, You would never know. Which is powerful because think about the people you walk around with and interact with every day, you have no idea, you don’t know their story. But the other beautiful piece were people who I knew, or sort of knew, who would read the book and then come back and tell me their story. And they’d say you know, oh my gosh, you wrote about this and that’s part of my story… just that whole idea of how it’s speaking into their lives and in a way they’d never been spoken to before. And that was all happening through the book, and we were walking around in the world together every day, but we were not having those type of conversations or those interactions. So there were some relationships that were changed because of it.

AJ: That’s really great. I’m also curious, did you have people that created distance from you after your story was out, and what was that like? When God lifted the veil to my own story, and I began to share it with those close to me, I know some people just didn’t get it and others distanced themselves. Obviously, that can be hurtful, but what was your experience with this?

GB: Yes, there were definitely people who didn’t get it. And then there were family members who distanced themselves. And what was really heartbreaking was that they didn’t come to me with their anger. They just kind of disconnected. There was some denial which there will always be some denial when there’s a situation like this. And then there were some requests from people in the family who asked for me not to put certain things in there. But I was very clear that the only people who had editorial rights to the book were my husband and kids. Nobody else. I worked very hard to write it out of my healing and not out of my wounding. So when I wrote, I also included, look here’s where that person was coming from in their pain and the brokenness and the way they impacted my life. Now, that doesn’t excuse what happened, but as a means of saying part of the healing isn’t just a means of reflecting grace towards yourself, but towards others as well. So, I think that was the biggest piece of it, was being careful with how I presented the information, in presenting it from a place of healing, not wounding. But I don’t think that made a difference for some people. And what is also interesting is that I’ve had some acquaintances, who I think have also read the book, and because they have chosen to so deeply disconnect from their own story, they have somewhat disconnected from me as a means of self-protection.

AJ: I appreciate you sharing that because I do feel like that’s kind of a struggle. I do think you did a really good job in the book, and I’m sure the Holy Spirit led you with that, but just honoring those people in your story as you were telling of their past and where they came from. And I’m sure the majority of the people reading your book would see that you really loved these people, and you see them made in the image-of God. So I saw that, and I really appreciated you honoring that. What was really cool, I thought, was the section of your book where you talk about how science meets Scripture. You talk about transgenerational epigenetic inheritance, and how that relates to the Bible. I mean as a believer, as a Christian, you understand these sins can be passed down generationally, but now you have science that is showing that. Was that something you were researching at the time, or was it something in your studies that you knew about?

GB: It’s interesting because I was already researching the whole generational impact. That was a lens that God developed in me a long time ago. I was just always able to see that connective tissue of, you know, this is happening now, because that happened then, and that happened way back then, and just seeing that all of these things are connected. And the whole idea of carrying things forward like that. I started researching epigenetics and learning about that. I originally started learning about it in relation to nutrition and it’s impact on the body, and then I heard about behavioral epigenetics and passing on wounds and healing. I started doing research on that. I read some things from Rachel Yehuda and she’s done some really cool work on that, and I read some studies from Emory University, and more coming out of Switzerland. And I really began to recognize that this is a whole thing- this idea of passing something from one generation to the next, and that’s epigenetic influence… and also recognizing how Biblical that was. The word “generation” is used so many times in the Bible, and it talks about what we pass down from one generation to the next, and we need to be careful with what that is. So, we need to recognize the influences in our sphere of life early on and how that plays out, and that’s what was really important to me. We see it, and it’s like, we all know it’s there; we just don’t have the labels for it. We know the things that manifest in us today are things that were poured into us as children, and the things that were poured into us as children were poured in by people who had influences in their lives, and so on and so on. So, I think we all know that, but actually slowing down and looking at those things is really powerful. And really seeing how Scripture has informed science in more than we recognize.

AJ: So, I wasn’t aware that you had a workbook when I read the book, and I’m assuming you go into that more in the workbook- which is great! Can you tell me what’s included in that?

GB: So the workbook is geared toward the group, the individual, or the two friends who may be doing it together, so it’s really for you, the reader. I ask you questions based on what you just read. There’s places for people to explore what’s going on internally, and places for people to do free-form journaling. There are self-care and nervous system care places in there as well. So it’s really meant to be used as template for you to do alongside reading the book, so that you can kind of begin writing your own story. And you can see where you want to challenge some narratives that you have adopted and where you want to re-write some of those.

AJ: That’s really great. Thanks so much for sharing that. Is there anything else you’d like to share before we wrap up?

GB: I think the main thing that I always want people to remember is that if there is breath in your lungs, it is not too late- there is healing, you can change, even if your kids are grown. Your kids still carry a young version of themselves inside, we all do. And there’s still a child that longs to hear a parent say, “I’m so sorry for the damage that I have done, that I have hurt you. Here’s what I want to do better. Here’s what I’m working on. How can I help? How can I step forward?”. And even if they are not willing to open that door, we still get to do the good, hard work of healing ourselves. Whether we use that in our families, or out in the world, when we’re changed, every relationship we touch will be changed because we are a different person. And that’s what God wants for every one of us, is that freedom, is that healing and moving more toward that image-bearing He has for us. Which is as Scripture tells us, to have an abundant and free, full life.

---

Gina shared that her book is available in print or via audiobook through Amazon and local library systems like Libby and Hoopla. Gina is actually the reader for the audiobook, which is awesome! If anyone wants to connect on social media with her, you can find Gina her at MyOutLoudVoice on Facebook or Instagram. And then her website is, https://www.ginabirkemeier.com/. She also has groups available for those wanting to work through their healing journey. You can find out more on these groups through contacting her at, info@ginabirkemeier.com

I hope you found Gina’s interview helpful. If you are interested in winning a free copy of the Generations Deep Book and Workbook, please comment on this post through my website. Let me know you are interested in the sweepstakes and what you thought about this interview with Gina. Bonus: If you share this post through WordPress or social media, you’ll get an extra entry- let me know how you shared it. A winner will be selected on Monday, March 17^th, 2025, and you’ll receive a signed copy of the book and workbook from Gina Birkemeier herself!

God bless, and keep seeking the Lord in your health and relationships.