Discouraged But Not Defeated: Enjoying God’s Gifts
So, I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God. For who can eat or enjoy anything apart from Him?Ecclesiastes 2:24-25
God promises to provide all that we need and to fulfill our deepest desires in Himself.Daily Grace Blog
I thought writing would be easier this year, but it’s definitely been a rough start!
Almost four years ago, with a toddler and baby at home, I thought I was busy beyond belief, and I was. But it was a different kind of busy. I found time to write during naps, early in the mornings, or at night when my kids had gone to bed and my husband was still on night shifts. I dreamt of the days when my kids were older and I’d “have more time” without really seeing the time I had been given.
People warned me- it’s not really easier when your kids are older, you’re actually busier. I heard them, but I guess I didn’t totally get it just because I wasn’t in that season of life. Now I’m inching into that “different kind of busy”. My kids still wake up early, they stay up a little bit later, and naps are hard to come by. More often than not, we’re loading up the car for school or I’m driving back to pick them up, we’re headed to the grocery store, activities, health and wellness visits, or just simply running other errands. On top of that, cleaning, meal planning, and general schedule planning can all take a big chunk out of my day.
Busyness has slowly crept back in. And some of it is great, as I love being more available for my family this year and having the ability to help manage things so that our day runs smoothly (for the most part). But if I’m being honest, a high priority for me this year has been to spend more time writing. And that time has already gotten chipped away many times due to life’s interruptions.
Sicknesses popping up (at different times for different family members- which really stretches things out) or other schedule changes have all pushed my patience. I’ve felt trapped at times- trying to squeeze “writing time” in here and there but it’s suddenly seemed like more of a burden than enjoyment.
I don’t want to be discouraged, but I am. Deep down, I want to stick with my writing and find a way to make it work. I knew this was going to be hard. Interruptions would come. The enemy would want me to be discouraged, to feel rushed, to feel defeated, to question my ability to write and to believe that I don’t have time to enjoy this gift God has given me.
But God is still good even though this isn’t going as “I planned”.
I continue to see God working in and through me in this process.
Through these interruptions and frustrations in the new year, I’ve questioned “why” I write again, which is a good thing. It’s important to re-evaluate and look at where God is working and where He wants our time and focus.
Because writing is something I enjoy, I shouldn’t feel bad about making it a priority. And just because writing is a priority, doesn’t mean it’s going to come easily. It is going to be work at times, and I have to remember to give myself grace.
Taking care of myself is important, and doing things I enjoy is part of living a full life. We aren’t meant to live in defeat and self-loathing, we’re meant to use the gifts God has given us for His Kingdom. And to enjoy them! If God has given me the means and the ability, He is using this for a reason.
And now, God has given me THIS time to write- unexpectedly and unplanned. One child is on the back-end of fighting off an illness and napping, and the other is off with dad for a bit. Thank you, Lord! Isn’t it crazy how God works and provides?
If you’re like me and in this place at the end of January where your New Year’s goals or dreams feel like they’re dying or maybe just on a teeter-totter, turn it over to the Lord. Pray about it. If it’s important to you, it’s important to God.
He’s gladly waiting for you to show up and talk with Him about it.